why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
