so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
organizing the empties. That sober.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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