RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
