Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
