I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
