I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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