This house was built for laser tag.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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