I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
