i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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