Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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