Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
