erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
