Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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