the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
