Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
