So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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