At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
