Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
