just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You are a genius and a whore.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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