If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
