I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
