so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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