okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
