Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
