so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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