I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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