Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
