I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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