You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
