Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
