If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
