Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
