girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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