My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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