Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
