hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
