please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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