I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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