There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
