You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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