No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
