I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
