if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
