@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
