Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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