well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
