How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
