If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
