i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
