rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
