you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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