Define "chronic" masturbator.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
