I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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