Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
