the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
