just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
