when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
