It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
