That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
