I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
